I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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