Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
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Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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