everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.