Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...