When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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