I just cut my nipple shaving
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize