Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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