Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
