All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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