champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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