Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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