2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize