She is in my trunk
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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