tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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