I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
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It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
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