I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Bring me that man meat
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
