This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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