I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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