i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
