Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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