...so i touched it.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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