how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
