I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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