the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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