Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
