are you still at the devil's house?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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