So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
