I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
