My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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