Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
