I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
