Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
