you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize