Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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