to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
