omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
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My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
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I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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