Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize