So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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