dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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