He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
