You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
