I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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