She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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