Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
