8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The air was thick with penises
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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