You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
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I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
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I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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