Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
