Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
