I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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