nut hugger
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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