i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
