This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
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They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize