we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dear god my vagina.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
