This is not my ceiling
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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