well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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