It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
