they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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