oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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