i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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